This post is more than one year old and may no longer be relevant. Please view this content with its age in mind.
All over our planet, women are creating, demanding, and claiming their own spaces.
Consider Umoja, Kenya. This village came to be in 1990, formed by 15 exiled Kenyan women who had been raped by British soldiers. They moved to a piece of land and named the town Umoja, which is Swahili for Unity. It continues to this day, now existing as a refuge for women fleeing from abuse, female genital mutilation, or accusations of dishonour. Other women simply want to exist outside the oppressive regime of male dominance known as patriarchy, or rule of the father.
In Syria, there is Jinwar. “It was set up by local women’s groups and international volunteers to create a space for women to live ‘free of the constraints of the oppressive power structures of patriarchy and capitalism’.” The women of Jinwar built the homes they now live in. They grow their own food, tend animals, share childcare duties, and school the children. It is home.
I visited a women’s land called We’moon in the United States late last year. (You may be familiar with the calendars they put out every year!) On this land, women live in trailers, tents, yurts, and cabins. Though we were only there for a short while, we helped the women of the land with a few projects that needed the vigor of youth, because most of the permanent residents of We’moon are elders. The land is lush, the women fascinating, and the work plentiful.
It may surprise readers to know that the world is dotted with women’s lands, plots of land or buildings where only women can live. Although in Canada we are edging toward equality with more momentum than other countries, we are still living under a patriarchy, and when we pay attention and listen to the stories of women, we see we are losing some of the gains we’ve worked so hard for. Men in power desire to maintain it at the expense of women and girls and other oppressed groups, and as women, we have options in how we fight back.
As an activist for women’s rights, I collaborate and work alongside male allies, strategically. I have seen that there is a place for men in the fight for justice. However, I have also felt the intense healing and activating power of women-only spaces. There is a base level of understanding that we share. We are able to complete our thoughts – and our sentences. We care for one another reciprocally. We are not exhausted by the labour involved in running a household, working full-time, raising children, and managing the emotions and expectations of other people – all in siloed spaces, isolated. Rather, on women’s land, we work communally to identify, address, and resolve issues. The effort goes in every direction – there are no dead ends.
Well, that’s the intention.
And that’s what I’m talking about. Intentional community. The seven principles of a co-operative are self-help, self-responsibility, democracy, equality, equity, and solidarity. From the International Co-Operative Alliance website: “A cooperative is an autonomous association of persons united voluntarily to meet their common economic, social, and cultural needs and aspirations through a jointly-owned and democratically-controlled enterprise.”
This is the vision I have for Muskoka. A dedicated space for women – not a shelter, not transitional housing, not rentals, but a land held in trust, and homes created by and for the women who wish to live there. Homes that belong to them. A sense of ownership, pride, stability, security, community, respect. A shared space for women to gather, cook collectively, have visitors, access shared resources, enjoy social support – and heal.
It is a deliberate cornerstone of our society that heterosexuality is considered the default, that marriage and children are considered a given, and that opposite-sex cohabitation is seen as the only ‘real’ way to be a family. I am seeing this change, and I am thrilled. You will never hear me pine over the destruction of traditional family values. When those values include women being isolated, unsupported, and all too often trapped in situations they want out of but can’t escape because of a lack of money or options, then those values are not humane at all. At best, they work (sometimes, sort of) for a small faction, and at worst they are cruel and oppressive. I know that a family can look any which way, and I know that when women support each other, mountains are moved.
I have worked at the women’s shelter in Huntsville for more than five years. If I had an acre for every woman who said, “All I need is a little space to myself, nothing special, just somewhere my own to feel safe,” I would have a hundred acres to get this rolling. That’s a bit too magical, so I am pursuing other options to get land. The need is there, I believe the will in our community is there, and the time is now.
So keep an eye out, because Muskoka is getting a women’s land co-operative, and we are redefining ‘home’.
Don’t miss out on Doppler! Sign up for our free newsletter here.
Kathleen May is a writer, speaker, and activist. Her work in our community includes co-founding the long-running Huntsville Women’s Group, being a Survivor Mentor in the pilot survivor-to-survivor program through MPSSAS, co-facilitating instinct-unlocking workshops for women through I Got This, working as a host and community producer of Herstories on YourTV, volunteering with Women’s March Muskoka, and her role as a front-line counsellor at a women’s shelter. Kathleen is a 2018 Woman of Distinction for Social Activism and Community Development and also received the Best Author award for her 2018 submission at the Muskoka Novel Marathon, a fundraiser for literacy services. Her dream is a sustainable women’s land co-operative in Muskoka.
Nancy Osborne says
What an inspiring article. Expanding the mosaic of our community in one more way to enhance security and the ability to contribute for all its members.
Paul Whillans says
I have been fascinated by your columns since their outset. I was raise to be “feminist” although that term didn’t arrive until I was in my late teens. I believe that I tried to adhere to the foundations of that movement throughout my 66 years.
But throughout my read of your columns, there has been something off-centering about them, that I haven’t been able to put my finger on……until today.
It seems that you have given up on any notion of creating a fair, equitable and just world for all. You seem to rather run away and set up your own Walden for those of your choosing.
I am saddened by that….from Germaine Greer on I have counted on feminists to strike out for such a world born from their own struggles to be seen….
I had imagined that someday you would speak for all injustice…..not just run away and hide
Johnny Langille says
I have to agree with the gentleman. Additionally, your philosophy has a strong undertones of misogyny and misandry. I do not feel, if equality is desired, that any form of isolationism is beneficial to any gender. I greatly appreciate most of what you say, but I for one accept all models of traditional and non traditional models of family and society. Speaking from what I know, which may be limited, I feel your spoken posture is more likely to turn away persons from concepts such as social harmony and working towards a common good. Often success lies is presentation and approach, which does not suggest we must be radical or rest on credentials.
Kai Rannik says
In a world where, by even conservative estimates, the overwhelming majority of violent crimes are committed by men, it shouldn’t be a surprise that some women might choose to build communities without them. I find it curious that (so far) it’s men who’ve stepped forward to object.
Why is it not OK for some women, particularly those who’ve been targeted by violent men, to build a space that feels safer for them? Whether it’s a temporary solution as part of a healing process or a permanent lifestyle choice, who are you to say that they’re doing it wrong? While I absolutely understand and support the desire to build a world of true equality – where all peaceful people are equally respected, heard, and independently safe – surely forcing those who are marginalised to remain at risk in the interim cannot be part of that process.
If it bothers you that some women feel the need to have a separate space, please recognize that your issue is with the men who’ve harmed them, not the women. Build a better world.
Lauren Power says
Kathleen this is true vision. We need to harness all the ways we can to grow and support strong leadership. This is one of the ways.
John Langille says
Why should anyone think men are protesting, and imply they do not have a right since they are the culprits? I absolutely appreciate that men have historically created these problems, and in many cases continue these problems. And I absolutely agree no human being, man or woman, should be denied the right to be free of this abuse.
BUT…….time to dial back the harsh rhetoric. Radicalism gains attention, not traction. I find the comments regarding former roles of women in society insulting. Some of you retrospectively discount the vital input women have had down through many generations. While roles of women in society will and must change, there was nothing wrong with a time in history when they raised families at home, and as such, were the gatekeepers of morality. I somehow think this is overlooked, however I’m certain will be pointed to as women being put down in some form.
Society evolves, be it just or otherwise to all those who are marginalized. The key is indeed educating men, but not in blaming present generations for their forefathers. It does take a village; a village of love, understanding, empathy and above all altruism.
Believe me I am not your traditional Male. I’m hugely in touch with my feminine side, and will gladly sit down one on however many to start seeking solutions. I embrace your solutions, but question the perspective, which seems somewhat a hodgepodge of philosophies. Please reach out to me.
Karen Wehrstein says
Um… no.
.
As anyone knows who reads her columns, Kathleen can walk and chew gum at the same time.
.
One motivation for women-only communities is to get away from men who insult women who resist their control, of which you’re being a fine example.
Kai Rannik says
You’re right: women have contributed significantly throughout the generations, both in the roles they were shackled to, and in countless ways made invisible by the history of men still prevalent in our society. The issue with roles is the lack of choice, never the work women do.
A better world without assigned roles will be created through the efforts of many, each choosing their own means of contribution. Some will be “non-traditional men, hugely in touch with their feminine side”, teaching others that this is more than OK- that it’s a better, freer, more compassionate way to be. Some will be radical (a great, but often misunderstood word: relating to or affecting the fundamental or root nature of an issue) women who choose to build a life without men. These, and all other paths that actively reject patriarchy will lead to its demise.
If you want to have conversations with women, recognize that there are those who welcome this opportunity (witness our interaction), and those who’ve chosen to direct their energies elsewhere. Again, who are we to object to women who choose their own path? Consider: When the problem is generations of men systemically controlling women, how can a man who insists women include men in their communities be part of the solution? Truly supporting women’s freedom includes supporting their right to walk away.
Rob Millman says
I totally agree with you, John; as Kathleen well knows. Perhaps if we could assemble a few more like-minded men, we could pow wow with these ladies. I love this conceptual Utopia, but there just seem to be so may insurmountable steps to its fruition.
.
1) How does one obtain sufficient monies for such a large purchase?
a) by lobbying persons with relatively large estates in favour of the idea?
b) through a bank loan (no mortgages for vacant land)? what collateral
c) by purchasing defunct campground/resort (mortgage available at least)?
.
2) If the willing participants are so numerous, what fair system could determine the
successful residents?
.
3) What happens if the settlement is completely organized, and the majority of
potential residents get “cold feet”?
.
4) How are you going to locate maintenance personnel who aren’t morally opposed
to your concept?
.
5) And most importantly, how are you going to deal with security? You have put all
these man-hating eggs in one handy basket: Can you realistically guarantee their
safety in the face of society’s rednecks?
.
I hate to be a wet blanket. Believe me, I love and admire the idea. Maybe I’m just too prosaic. In any case, heed Robert Frost: “Good fences (really do) make good neighbours”.
John Langille says
My only rebuttal is that both men and women have the right to walk away. But in doing so it can destroy a wonderful opportunity to start a dialogue of understanding our former faults and conditions, and moreoverly, doing much to make amends for the misdeeds of our ancestors. I reiterate; I would love to converse with any of the intelligent women who I have encountered here. I certainly feel I have much I could learn, and perhaps gain new friends.
Beth Grixti says
Women have desired equality since women were not given it. So, forever. The idea that the women that wish to have a safe place for themselves is the result of this.
Have you considered that maybe we are tired of bargaining to get there? It’s incredibly exhausting having to navigate a man’s world to keep ourselves safe because so many men aren’t expected to stop being violent??
To expect us to continue to placate men when it’s our lives on the line is A LOT and even too much to ask of women. And a continual expression of the entitlement men inherently end up having.
If you are an ally of women, the key is to listen. Not to mansplain. If we are saying we want to go create a community without men, then there’s damn good reason behind it. It’s not a discussion. Since the community would be for women only, much like the female body, men should not have a say in how it operates.
Maybe the women that stick around after such a space exists will start being treated with value and respect if there is an option to opt out of male dominated society, because for this hetero woman, this idea gets more and more tempting.