Bill O’Reilly (formerly of Fox News) and I are around the same age so we came of age at roughly the same time. In those days white men were decidedly in charge and it did give them a certain level of privilege that others, including women, did not enjoy.
Sexual harassment was not only common back in the day but it was joked about and if a woman did complain, she was told she needed to get a sense of humour. Lots of men in positions of authority abused women at varying levels and women either handled it or they put up with it. There really was no one to complain to other than friends and colleagues and their advice usually fell into the two aforementioned categories.
Women weren’t complicit in their mistreatment but we were somewhat resigned to it. When I took a job at an office in a southern Ontario city many moons ago, my female colleagues warned me about our boss who was known to be suggestive under the guise of joking and physically aggressive under no guise whatsoever. They called his behaviour ‘handsy’ and ‘grabby.’ No one called it assault or abuse – we didn’t really have the language for it then. The suggestion was to keep a desk between you and him at all times and to remain impassive if he commented on any part of your anatomy. I was either separated or divorced at the time and it was suggested that I wear a ring and talk about a fiancé often and loudly.
It didn’t help. (Back then, employers could ask you all manner of impertinent questions from your marital status to your plans for pregnancy.) So Mr. Grabby Hands only had to look at your personnel file to see if you were fair game.
Over a period of months, my boss asked what size bra I wore, suggested that I wear shorter skirts to show off those “gorgeous legs of yours,” inquired as to whether I preferred ‘missionary’ or ‘on top,’ told crude jokes and brushed up against me countless times. Then one day he asked me over behind his desk to look at a report on his desk. When I did he slid his hand up my skirt. And I handled it. I picked up his heavy, rotary dial phone and hit him over the head with it. I walked out and never returned. There was no severance pay, no investigation and no letter of recommendation.
Head wounds bleed profusely. Later on I heard from a colleague that an ambulance was called, and the paramedics treated him in his office. I half expected to be arrested but he remained silent and that was it. I did hear that his behaviour improved significantly for the rest of the time he was at that branch. I hardly thought about it again. I moved on. Or so I thought.
The economy was strong and I quickly got another job. I congratulated myself fairly often over the years on how well I’d stood up for myself. And I thought that it hadn’t affected me at all because I was strong, confident and able to deal with it. But it did affect me because years later when sexual harassment in the workplace became a legal matter I’d occasionally feel critical of a woman who sued or worse still sued after years of suffering. Along with lots of others I privately questioned why she hadn’t just quit…. or hit him with a heavy object. I even called myself a feminist back then too but I saw no disconnect between loathing what women often had to go through and privately criticizing a woman’s decision to go public and to seek damages for inappropriate behaviour.
I came to feel superior for handling the situation the way I did. I now think it was a bit akin to being hazed at a fraternity or in the military and hating it but then doing the same thing to someone else so you feel less angry or degraded about having been hazed.
I’ve known better for a long, long time now and stories like those of Jian Ghomeshi, Roger Ailes and Bill O’Reilly leave me not one bit confused about who is at fault and who has every right – even a duty – to bring charges against them.
Things have changed since I entered the workforce. You are as likely to have a female boss as a male one and Canadian laws such as the Canada Labour Code and the Canadian Human Rights Act protect workers against sexual harassment at work. Workers are further protected through the Criminal Code against physical and sexual assault. But according to the Canadian Labour Relations, “Sexual harassment in the workplace is still the scourge of the Canadian workforce. Since most victims feel powerless, and therefore afraid to report sexual harassment, one can assume that it is still very much prevalent in the Canadian workplace, much more than we would care to acknowledge.” It is disheartening.
If some men in ‘normal’ occupations still somehow feel entitled to grab women, assault women, threaten women over whom they have some authority it becomes even more obvious why ego-driven, wealthy and powerful blowhards like O’Reilly, Ailes and Trump think they can get away with it. And it’s because they do get away with it.
When certain companies become addicted to the money or the ratings or the fame that an abuser brings to the organization, they often first turn a blind eye and then, when forced to act, they offer a settlement to the accuser. Given that the woman’s lawyer has likely told her she’ll have to go through hell to take the suit any further, she accepts the pay-off and moves on.
It’s infuriating that Fox News only acted when advertisers started leaving the network in droves. They didn’t fire O’Reilly because of what he did. They fired him because it got out. It’s also infuriating that he left with a $25 million severance.
What does that teach young women and men? Well, maybe it teaches them that if you have a legion of fans who will forgive your rabid, racist rants and your assaults on women, democracy and decency that they can one day be a mega-star right-wing bloviator or….the president of the United States.
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Following a career in the hospitality sector and the acquisition of a law and justice degree in her 50s, Dale embarked on a writing career armed with the fanciful idea that a living could be made as a freelancer. To her own great surprise she was right. The proof lies in hundreds of published works on almost any topic but favourites include travel, humour & satire, feature writing, environment, politics and entrepreneurship. Having re-invented herself half a dozen times, Dale doesn’t rule anything out. Her time is divided equally between Muskoka and Tampa Bay with Jim, her husband of 8 years and partner of 32 years. Two grown ‘kids’ and their spouses receive double doses of love and attention when she’s at home.
Sandy inkster says
BRAVO, Dale!
This is it.
Thank you for articulating so accurately the situation over the years and the horrific potential consequences.
Mia Pearson says
Once again Dale, you’ve “hit the nail on the head”. It’s only sad that while, in some ways, we have come so far, in this matter, little has changed. Old white men still rule our world and sex and money are still the gods.
Edie Van Alstine says
When I think back now to what I handled sometimes and put up with sometimes at my first job after university, at an international media firm in Toronto, I am appalled: appalled that I stayed and appalled at the shocking behaviour of middle-aged, professional, accomplished men.
Nancy Osborne says
WOW Dale this is an incredible article. It totally speaks to a generation (of which I am part) when there was no recourse. But even more important to me is how well it describes my transition from accepting it as a condition of being a woman, standing up for myself, criticizing others for not doing the same, to eventually standing up to demand cultural change and supporting all women who are targeted in any way; including women who are courageous enough to take a stand through the system that should have protected them in the first place. It is no longer a badge of honoured that, so long ago, I stood up for myself; it is just a part of a mosaic that should demand a cultural change now.