That thing called love: how Don and Sheila Coker keep the flame burning bright

Every week, I will be profiling an extraordinary human being who lives in our community. If you know someone who is doing something interesting with their life, I want to hear about it. Send me an email at [email protected].

(This week’s profile is not my typical extraordinary person profile. It focuses on how the selfless and unconditional love between two people helped them make it to their 60^th wedding anniversary. And that, itself, is extraordinary.)

It’s true. The kind of love that gives you butterflies and brings you to your knees does exist.

And I witnessed it this past Sunday. It was a beautiful thing. I thought, ‘I want that. I definitely do.’ And I wanted to know if there is some marvelous secret to maintaining the longevity in a relationship. Luckily, I got an answer.

You can feel the love between these two. They have been sweethearts for over 60 years.

Last week, Evelyn Coker, a wedding officiant, sent me a Facebook message. She wanted to give me a heads-up that something pretty awesome was going to happen in a few days. Her in-laws, a long-time couple (I’m talking more than six decades of togetherness) wanted to prove their undying affection for each other by renewing their wedding vows in a special ceremony. Sixty years! Wow, I thought. This is serious love. This is fantastic, extraordinary, hard-to-come-by love. I was already inspired.

This past Sunday, Don and Sheila Coker said, ‘I do’ in front of their closest friends and family. It was magical seeing Don staring adoringly at his loving wife as she walked down the isle for the second time since they wed back in 1956.

“We’re renewing our vows for love,” says Sheila. She’s a sweet little lady, with gorgeous white hair and glistening brown eyes. She calls him a gentleman with a great sense of humour. He’s the kind of guy who always put her first, she has never once doubted that she’s his number one.

It was Don’s idea to renew their vows. He tells me it was important to do it because reaching the 60^th anniversary is a big deal. He wanted to reaffirm his love to Sheila. No one makes him feel as special as she does. They both agree they couldn’t live without one another.

And I wasn’t the only one sucking back the tears. I’m pretty sure most of those in attendance had a lump in their throat watching Don and Sheila proclaim their undying love for one another. Don couldn’t keep his eyes off his blushing bride. She was a radiant sight. Dressed in an elegant gown, Sheila felt the nostalgia set in as soon as she walked down the aisle. Once again, Irvin Payne, the same best man Don had 60 years ago, and Sheila’s maid of honour, Phyllis, who just so happens to be Irvin’s wife, got the chance to be a part of the ceremony.

Before Sheila and Don confessed their love for a second time, I got to sit down with the precious couple, who, at 77, are just nine months apart in age. They were both born and raised in Huntsville and they couldn’t imagine raising their own family in any other town. Don was one of 14 kids, and his eldest sister, Vi McQuain, who will be 101 this year, was all dolled up for the special occasion.

Sheila grew up on Susan Street and Don on Johanna Street.

For Sheila, it was love at first sight when she met Don. They were both 16. But for Don, his feelings weren’t the same.

“I didn’t like her,” he says, and there’s a bit of a smirk on his face as he continues to tell me he’s not exactly sure why.

But in 1954 they started dating and then they tied the knot two years later. They had four children and Sheila was a stay-at-home mom while Don worked for GM for 30 years in Oshawa.

Sheila and Don continue to love and honour each other.

Sheila tells me the secrets to a long-lasting relationship. It’s about compromise. And respect. It’s about spending quality time together. And most importantly, she tells me, it’s about connecting every single day with those three little words that mean so much: I love you.

What makes it work is you never go to bed mad at each other,” says Sheila. “You always kiss and tell each other you love them and the same thing when you get up in the morning. We’ve done that all our lives.

Sheila Coker on the secret of a long-lasting marriage

In any relationship, there are ups and downs. But to make it work, you have to be a team. And that’s how the Coker’s operated. They were always on the same page. Respect is huge and choosing your battles means not sweating the small stuff.

“I think it’s the little things that mean the most,” says Sheila. Throughout our entire chat, she had a smile on her face. She doesn’t have to tell me. I can tell she’s totally elated she was about to marry the man of her dreams – again. “He means the world to me.”

Then Don looks at his wife and without skipping a beat, he concurs.

“She means the world to me, too.”

They share a tender kiss and then one last look at each other before speaking the same vows – a genuine promise of everlasting love – that brought them together six decades ago.

A big thanks to Evelyn Coker for suggesting this week’s profile to me. Evelyn was the officiant of the ceremony and is the daughter-in-law of Sheila and Don. She called it a joyous occasion and was deeply honoured to be able to help Sheila and Don with their dream of renewing their wedding vows. If you ask her, she will tell you, “Love is the most beautiful thing in the world.”

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