How Laura got her (writing) groove back

This week, I took a week off to hang out with my kids, mourn my mom’s four-year-anniversary of not being here, and celebrate my brother’s birthday and my birthday. So I decided to write a little piece on being a stay-at-home mom and finding my groove with writing again…

Sometimes I forget to breathe.

I think I have a touch of OCD. I like things a certain way. I can’t operate in chaos. I like the house to be clean. I believe in schedule and routine when it comes to my kids. I look forward to 8 p.m. It means that after a long day of caring for two precious beings, that I finally get to sit down and have a few hours to myself.

I’m taking a moment to reflect here. My awesome publisher, the lovely Liz Rice, gave me this week off from writing my weekly profile to enjoy the March break with my two crazy kids. Archer turns five in 11 days and Emrys is two-and-a-half. Both are equally nuts. Sometimes I’m surprised my eyeballs are intact and that I still have a full head of hair. There are days when I feel like I can’t go on. I haven’t had a good sleep in years. One day, people tell me, they will be all grown up. So I really need to slow down and enjoy the special time when they are young.

Normally I would not be cool with having a photo published where my kid’s eyes are closed and his mouth wide open. But I’m keeping with the theme to not sweat the small stuff…

Oh, it’s special alright. Every day something new happens. A milestone is met or one of them takes leaps in their learning or does something that leaves me with an overwhelming feeling of pride and joy. My kids are my life. I would do just about anything to make them happy… even if that means bribing them with a piece of gum or a quarter to sit quietly for 10 minutes. If it works, I’m in. I don’t like conflict.

I’ve been fortunate enough to stay at home and raise my boys. Getting my brain back into writing after literally shutting it off for over four years has been a challenge to say the least. Somewhere, in between having two kids, changing exploding diapers, wiping bums, packing snacks, toys and diapers and wipes for an afternoon walk, I lost my flow. I may have even lost myself. I forgot how to write a catchy headline. Thinking up a short caption to accompany a photo was hard work. I had to remember how to introduce myself as a journalist. Once I was in the middle of interviewing a man on speaker phone, typing quickly on my laptop, when my toddler, who was in the early stages of being potty trained, walked around me repeating that he had to go “poo poo.” I tried to signal to him to be quiet. I quietly shooed him away. And then he just pooped on the floor beside me and went back to playing with his toy cars. I had to let the kind man go. Clean up in aisle three. We resumed the interview two days later.

Finding my groove as a writer for Huntsville Doppler has been no easy feat. In fact, it’s been quite the juggling act. At times, I didn’t think I could do it. My brain hurt from using it again (in a creative way, not because I didn’t use it on a regular basis). I couldn’t seem to find a balance between being a stay-at-home mom and working again. But, the truth is, writing makes me tick. It fuels my fire and brings me a deep sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. Eventually it clicked. I found myself again. The creative juices were flowing heavily. And how could they not be? After all, it would be a damn shame not to be able to draw some serious inspiration from someone who has given hundreds of thousands of dollars of their own money to local worthwhile organizations or a person who flourishes being an abstract artist from their basement studio when they’re not working as a mason. The people I write about have either been recommended by one of our dedicated readers or is simply someone I’ve known was awesome for a long time. This is my hometown. And I love writing about the unique people who live in it.

Spending quality time with my kids over the March break is my top priority. I don’t want to think about anything except what kind of fun thing we’re doing next. I want to snuggle with both of them and read books and tickle them until I hear giggles and squeals for more. I get a warm feeling inside when Archer tells me he can’t go to sleep without a story. The kid is a bookworm and I love it. He hasn’t been tainted by video games and cell phones and tablets yet. My two-year-old cries a lot but I love him dearly. He had a meltdown the other day (okay, so it was one of several) and then, in between his uncontrollable sobs, declared he loved me so much. That tugged at my heart strings for sure. He loves LEGO and colouring as well. Right now, he’s going through a phase with lip chap. He won’t settle for an outfit without pockets to carry it in and he insists on sleeping with it. Did I mention he loves me a lot? I can’t leave home without him.

I had an internal battle going on this week not writing an extraordinary person profile. But the truth is I needed this week to slow down and breathe. Life is precious. It’s short, too. I have the coolest job in the world and there will always be interesting and inspiring people to write about. But my kids will only be young once.