{"id":62428,"date":"2019-02-21T08:35:44","date_gmt":"2019-02-21T13:35:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/huntsville.dopperonline.ca\/?p=62428"},"modified":"2019-02-21T08:42:59","modified_gmt":"2019-02-21T13:42:59","slug":"she-speaks-where-is-the-village","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/doppleronline.ca\/huntsville\/she-speaks-where-is-the-village\/","title":{"rendered":"She Speaks: Where is the village?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m a member of the last generation that grew up without a cell phone.<\/p>\n<p>My childhood consisted of packing my backpack full of books and running into the woods. I had a treefort. I could stern a canoe, and I read Anne Rice\u2019s entire lascivious canon, all before I was 12-years old.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s an age that Riya Rajkumar won\u2019t reach.<\/p>\n<div style=\"float: left; margin-right: 14px;\"><strong><broadstreet-zone zone-id=\"45658\" keywords=\"\" soft-keywords=\"true\" zone-alias=\"\"><\/broadstreet-zone><\/strong><\/div>\n<p>I was 16 when I got my first cell phone. At last count I\u2019ve had seven since then. The introduction of the cell phone would change my life immeasurably. I went from being a solitary and distant little kid whose world was almost entirely internal, to being exposed to what I came to know as the Global Village. Gradually, and somehow also suddenly, the entire universe was at my fingertips. No longer did I have to sift through our ancient and outdated encyclopedia for answers to my endless questions \u2013 I only had to ask, to type it into my phone or onto my computer and the answer usually arrived. I learned media literacy really quickly because I was always in search of The Truth. I can tell almost at a glance what slant a website has, what its reading level would be, and what it\u2019s trying to convince me of.<\/p>\n<p>This global village showed me that I didn\u2019t need to wait for someone with authority to teach me. I could seek knowledge all on my own. Of course, this methodology also exposed me to countless inappropriate and ultimately traumatizing images and concepts. But to balance that, it revealed to me the world I\u2019d learned about in books \u2013 our stunningly inordinate, weird and wonderful world, and all the amazing, odd, and even cruel people in it. This was my village, I learned. I entered adulthood feeling a sense of belonging, understanding, and solidarity with the other denizens of planet Earth. I found connection with people who experienced similar things as me: fans of No Doubt, teenagers with eating disorders, students applying for grants, other women planning weddings, people considering bankruptcy, fanfic authors, the gay community, and feminists. As I aged from 12 to 32, I found my people, over and over.<\/p>\n<p>I learned that it takes a village to raise a child. And I was a child on the internet, a little lost, a little lonely, but ever curious and thankfully discerning. I needed that village because I felt completely at odds with my family of origin and indeed the community of Huntsville. That village was there for me when I needed to talk about what was happening in my home and in my heart. At the risk of being dramatic (something of which I\u2019ve certainly never been accused), I would say that village saved me when I had no other.<\/p>\n<p>The saying \u201cIt takes a village to raise a child\u201d precedes the Internet, of course. It has (apparently) untraceable roots in African culture, and there are variations like, \u201cOne knee does not bring up a child&#8221; in Sukuma and &#8220;One hand does not nurse a child&#8221; in Swahili. When I heard this as a young person, I thought it meant I could trust that adults were looking out for me; that if someone tried to hurt me, someone would be paying attention. In a strong community, children were safe.<\/p>\n<div style=\"float: left; margin-right: 14px;\"><strong><broadstreet-zone zone-id=\"45658\" keywords=\"\" soft-keywords=\"true\" zone-alias=\"\"><\/broadstreet-zone><\/strong><\/div>\n<p>On Thursday, February 14, Riya Rajkumar was taken by her father after he did not return her to her mother as had been arranged. Riya\u2019s mother had called the police before 7pm that evening with concerns because the father had threatened violence against Riya. The police waited several hours to issue an Amber Alert, for reasons that we, the village, are not privy. Just after midnight, the Amber Alert was called off, and most of us did not realize until the next morning that this was not the good news we\u2019d assumed.<\/p>\n<p>Almost immediately after learning that Riya\u2019s father had murdered his 11-year-old daughter, on her birthday and that of her mother, I witnessed a flood of proclamations on my social media feed decrying people for being annoyed by the alert. I thought, there\u2019s no way people are actually up in arms over an Amber Alert, especially knowing that as a direct result of the alert Riya\u2019s murderer was located and apprehended.<\/p>\n<p>So I asked around and most people had not actually heard anyone complain directly about the text message we all received, with the exception of a couple folks who have sleep disorders or anxiety and struggled with getting back to sleep. But <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/globalnews.ca\/news\/4964578\/peel-police-amber-alert-complaints\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Global News reports<\/a><\/span> that Peel Police had over 300 complaints about the late hour and other concerns. People didn\u2019t understand why they were getting the alert in Ottawa (which is 4.5 hours from Peel and the killer ostensibly could have travelled that far after killing Riya) and Winnipeg (which, admittedly, would have been a longer trip).<\/p>\n<p>My question is, where does the village end? What are the parameters by which we measure our village? When our children are in danger, where are we drawing the line? Would any one of you like to take out a map and point at the areas that you don\u2019t think should care if your kid is kidnapped? Who do you want to make sure gets a good night\u2019s sleep and doesn\u2019t have to hear the piercing, disconcerting ringtone of an Amber Alert when it\u2019s your daughter? Would you rather inconvenience a few in hopes of getting your child back alive? Invoking the drama again \u2013 could you sleep at night knowing an abducted child passed through your town and you didn\u2019t know? Or would you rather get woken up?<\/p>\n<p>I like the Amber Alert system because it restores my faith in the village. It connects us. We were all, upon hearing that noise, huddled together in a collective hush, waiting for news. I thought about Riya\u2019s mother. I thought about my mother, and my friends\u2019 daughters. I thought, don\u2019t you f&#8230;ing hurt her. And I kept watch.<\/p>\n<p>Because that\u2019s what I was always told the village would do. And I\u2019m no longer a little kid waiting for an adult to notice that something is wrong. Now I\u2019m the adult, keeping an eye, making sure kids feel seen and heard, and checking my phone for updates on a fellow villager.<\/p>\n<p>If you don\u2019t want to be a part of the village, google \u2018how to put my [phone model] on Airplane Mode\u2019, go back to sleep, and stop wondering why kids these days don\u2019t play outside anymore; why they are all glued to their phones, alienated from the disjointed community around them. The Global Village steps in where our own communities continue to fail. They feel supported, connected, cared about. Like someone there might look out for them, not tweet their annoyance.<\/p>\n<p>We can do better. We can forge this village once more. Children are citizens, they are humans, and they deserve to feel supported and loved, not mocked and derided, and certainly not ignored. How far is the distance between airplane mode and ignoring your neighbour kid\u2019s cries for help? How big is your village?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Don\u2019t miss out on Doppler! Sign up for our free newsletter <\/strong><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/doppleronline.ca\/huntsville\/dont-miss-out-on-doppler\/\"><strong>here<\/strong><strong>.<\/strong><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong><broadstreet-zone zone-id=\"45657\" keywords=\"\" soft-keywords=\"true\" zone-alias=\"\"><\/broadstreet-zone><\/strong><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_61827\" style=\"width: 175px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-61827\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-61827\" src=\"https:\/\/media-doppleronline-ca.s3-accelerate.amazonaws.com\/2019\/02\/20180521_122413-e1549502286516-165x300.jpeg\" alt=\"Kathleen May (Photo: Kai Rannik)\" width=\"165\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/media-doppleronline-ca.s3-accelerate.amazonaws.com\/2019\/02\/20180521_122413-e1549502286516-165x300.jpeg 165w, https:\/\/media-doppleronline-ca.s3-accelerate.amazonaws.com\/2019\/02\/20180521_122413-e1549502286516.jpeg 176w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 165px) 100vw, 165px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-61827\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kathleen May (Photo: Kai Rannik)<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Kathleen May is a writer, speaker, and activist. Her work in our community includes co-founding the long-running Huntsville Women\u2019s Group, being a Survivor Mentor in the pilot survivor-to-survivor program through MPSSAS, co-facilitating instinct-unlocking workshops for women through I Got This, working as a host and community producer of <i>Herstories<\/i> on YourTV, volunteering with Women\u2019s March Muskoka, and her role as a front-line counsellor at a women\u2019s shelter. Kathleen is a 2018 Woman of Distinction for Social Activism and Community Development and also received the Best Author award for her 2018 submission at the Muskoka Novel Marathon, a fundraiser for literacy services. Her dream is a sustainable women\u2019s land co-operative in Muskoka.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m a member of the last generation that grew up without a cell phone. My childhood consisted of packing my backpack full of books and running into the woods. 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