{"id":60694,"date":"2019-01-10T08:19:13","date_gmt":"2019-01-10T13:19:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/huntsville.dopperonline.ca\/?p=60694"},"modified":"2019-01-10T08:19:13","modified_gmt":"2019-01-10T13:19:13","slug":"she-speaks-walk-in-my-shoes-march-in-yours","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/doppleronline.ca\/huntsville\/she-speaks-walk-in-my-shoes-march-in-yours\/","title":{"rendered":"She Speaks: Walk in my shoes; March in yours"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

Thought experiment time.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re renting an apartment. You\u2019ve lived in this town your whole life and you\u2019ve been in your home for a couple years. You feel stable, you have strong relationships with your family and friends, and your job, though not a career you\u2019d pick for yourself, provides a consistent paycheque, though in winters the hours are more scarce.<\/p>\n

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How many months could you keep your apartment if you lost your job, through no fault of your own? How much savings do you have to live on? How long before you have to sell things, including the car that should be helping you find a new job? Would Employment Insurance kick in before you were behind in rent? Imagine you lost your government identification \u2013 that adds a few weeks to the process. Is that long enough to make a real mess of things?<\/p>\n

Your landlord gives you notice due to nonpayment while you\u2019re searching desperately for a new job, and your friends are doing their best to support you, giving you a bit of cash and sending you apartment listings and job offers. You have two months to find an apartment in town, you don\u2019t have first and last months rent or an income, and your former place of employment is giving you the runaround about your Record of Employment, further delaying the EI process.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re looking for an apartment, you realize how good you\u2019d had it at your current rental, because local listings, when there are any, can run $1200 for a one-bedroom. You become aware that you\u2019ll be downsizing from an apartment to a room for rent, for a much more affordable $750. Affordable, that is, only if your EI comes through or you can find a job in your field. Ontario Works payments are about $700 \u2013 that won\u2019t even cover rent, but you apply because you have to and they\u2019ll help you pay for the government ID you need to process your EI, get another job, and find a rental.<\/p>\n

Time\u2019s up on the apartment, but your best friend has a couch. Your mom, who lives in Toronto, helps you pay for a storage unit for your things. Your friends help you move and you hated to ask because you know they want to help but their homes are full of their loved ones and they feel just as guilty for not being able to offer you space as you would feel if you accepted it.<\/p>\n

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How long would your friends let you stay on their couch? How many friends do you have? Most people would let their friends crash for a week or so. How many weeks does that buy you?<\/p>\n

Your OW payment goes to your other bills, feeding yourself, and trying to pay back your friends a bit for how they\u2019ve supported you. You start to notice you don\u2019t have as many people answering your texts as you used to. You start to experience profound fear.<\/p>\n

EI comes through, OW disappears. You\u2019ve got a bit more income, but can\u2019t find an apartment. You\u2019re calling, viewing, applying, but no one\u2019s calling you back. You think maybe your landlord shared with others about how you weren\u2019t able to pay and now you\u2019re on the blacklist. The friend you\u2019re staying with, the one with the softest heart, starts asking you when you think you\u2019ll be able to move out. Your presence is disrupting the house and their partner isn\u2019t a fan of supporting someone they don\u2019t know that well.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re asked to leave.<\/p>\n

What then?<\/p>\n

You have a steady enough income though EI and you\u2019re putting away a bit for rent. You get a hotel for the night because you just need a break. You haven\u2019t been alone for weeks but you\u2019ve never felt so isolated. Everyone has suggestions but there are barriers everywhere you turn.<\/p>\n

Do you have any mental health issues? Have you ever struggled with addiction? They are flaring up now \u2013 you\u2019re in crisis. You call your mom, crying, drunk, and she tells you to call the women\u2019s shelter.<\/p>\n

<\/broadstreet-zone><\/strong><\/div>\n

The next day, you go. It isn\u2019t what you expected \u2013 not a regimented barracks but rather like a large home. The staff regretfully tell you they don\u2019t have space for homeless women, only women fleeing abuse. Keep checking in, they say. It can change at any time. They refer you to District of Muskoka housing department, and you leave a message.<\/p>\n

The shelter gives you two more nights in a hotel. Then the District gives you two. Then the OPP give you two. Each phone call erodes your dignity and you can\u2019t stop thinking about the way you used to live, what you took for granted. If you still had your car, you\u2019d be sleeping in it, despite the sub-zero temperatures \u2013 but you don\u2019t.<\/p>\n

You get a response from your Kijiji ad seeking a room for rent. You check the place out. It\u2019s small, probably a den converted into a bedroom \u2013 no windows. The guy is a creep but he works a lot and won\u2019t be around much during the day. You decide to take it. Your belongings are down to a backpack, a cardbox box, and a garbage bag.<\/p>\n

The guy you\u2019re now renting from offers for you to stay there for free in exchange for sex. You\u2019d hoped it wouldn\u2019t go there, but you\u2019d feared it would. You decline.<\/p>\n

He forces the issue, doesn\u2019t care about your \u2018no.\u2019<\/p>\n

You leave your cardboard box and garbage bag and walk to the women\u2019s shelter with just your backpack. Now you meet their abuse mandate. Now there is space.<\/p>\n

You have three months.<\/p>\n

The question I want to pose to you isn\u2019t actually, \u201cWhat would you do?\u201d I work in a shelter and I know as well as anyone how quickly things fall apart. There is no homeless shelter for men in Huntsville right now \u2013 there\u2019s a hostel, or a bus ticket to Orillia or North Bay. The women\u2019s shelters turn people away due to being at or over capacity. Women come in, dazed \u2013 how did it get to this?<\/p>\n

My question actually is, \u201cWhy is it like this?\u201d and more importantly, \u201cHow do we fix this?\u201d<\/p>\n

All the failures along the way, all the injustices, all the people who wanted to help but didn\u2019t have the money, energy, capacity, or resources. Red tape, duplication of services, budget cuts, hands tied. So many cracks to slip through.<\/p>\n

On January 19th<\/sup>, Women\u2019s March Muskoka (WMM) will be taking to the streets in Huntsville to march. As the Community Connector, it\u2019s my responsibility to try to support cohesion between existing agencies and bridge some of the gaps, knowing we are all fighting to the end goal of justice for all. WMM is a fledgling volunteer-run group and we need volunteers. We march because homelessness is a women\u2019s issue. Because poverty is a women\u2019s issue. Discrimination, job insecurity, abuse and sexual assault, these are issues that disproportionately impact women either in terms of numbers (women experience higher statistical instances of them) or in impact (homelessness for men rarely means rape; for women, it is almost inevitable).<\/p>\n

All people, of all walks, will march on January 19th<\/sup> to try to bring attention to the stigmatized and swept-under issues in our community. Be present, be counted, let us know that you care, that you know a new way is possible, is necessary. Bring your imagination, bring your better-world scenarios. Let\u2019s co-create.<\/p>\n

The march is for each of us. Even if you don\u2019t need it right now, the march is for you.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t miss out on Doppler! Sign up for our free newsletter <\/strong>here<\/strong>.<\/strong><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/broadstreet-zone><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"

Photo by Kai Rannik<\/p><\/div>\n

Kathleen May is a writer, speaker, and activist. Her work in our community includes co-founding the long-running Huntsville Women\u2019s Group, being a Survivor Mentor in the pilot survivor-to-survivor program through MPSSAS, co-facilitating instinct-unlocking workshops for women through I Got This, working as a host and community producer of Herstories<\/i> on YourTV, volunteering with Women\u2019s March Muskoka, and her role as a front-line counsellor at a women\u2019s shelter. Kathleen is a 2018 Woman of Distinction for Social Activism and Community Development and also received the Best Author award for her 2018 submission at the Muskoka Novel Marathon, a fundraiser for literacy services. Her dream is a sustainable women\u2019s land co-operative in Muskoka.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Thought experiment time. You\u2019re renting an apartment. You\u2019ve lived in this town your whole life and you\u2019ve been in your home for a couple years. You feel stable, you […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":617,"featured_media":26045,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[26,831],"class_list":["post-60694","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commentary","tag-breaking","tag-kathleen-may"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nShe Speaks: Walk in my shoes; March in yours<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How many months could you keep your apartment if you lost your job, through no fault of your own? 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