{"id":60047,"date":"2018-12-27T04:59:08","date_gmt":"2018-12-27T09:59:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/huntsville.dopperonline.ca\/?p=60047"},"modified":"2018-12-28T12:21:29","modified_gmt":"2018-12-28T17:21:29","slug":"she-speaks-dont-believe-everything-you-think","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/doppleronline.ca\/huntsville\/she-speaks-dont-believe-everything-you-think\/","title":{"rendered":"She Speaks: Don’t believe everything you think"},"content":{"rendered":"

 <\/p>\n

You are in charge of your life. You only get the one, and it\u2019s wild and devastating in its brevity, and in its expansiveness. You were gifted with consciousness, the ability to view the world utterly uniquely, through the lens of your particular experience. No one has ever been, nor will ever be, like you.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/broadstreet-zone><\/strong><\/div>\n

It seems a little absurd to spend so much time caring about what other people think that we rarely check in with ourselves and wonder what we<\/span><\/i> think \u2013 about ourselves, others, the nature of love and the universe, what cats are thinking, what would happen if gravity released its weak but vital hold\u2026 Now, I\u2019m well aware we spend an awful lot of time ruminating, equivocating, condemning. Our brains are judgement machines, and they make connections to keep us safe.<\/span><\/p>\n

Someone with this stranger\u2019s demeanour hurt us once? We decide they are unsafe and invent stories to support our decision to shut them out. Someone says something offensive or unkind? We worry about what they\u2019ll think of us if we call them out. Why do we care what an unkind person thinks of us? Why don\u2019t we care that our brains are running amuck with judgements and barriers, maintaining fear-mode and keeping us from experiencing new, albeit frightening things?<\/span><\/p>\n

Not everything you think is true. Your thoughts are an amalgam of wise teachings, parables, media propaganda, out-of-date concepts, indoctrination, and lessons from experiences (yours and others, as told to you or viewed by you). Can you tell which thought is imbued with the gentle teachings of trusted people, and which is a message received by an abusive person at a young age, intended to maintain control over you? Every thought has an origin story. You invent nothing. The way you assemble thoughts may be unique, but their humble beginnings were given to you.<\/span><\/p>\n

As a woman, I learned to be interrupted. I learned that the beginnings of my sentences were jumping off points for men to conclude \u2013 often in a completely different direction than I intended. This lesson was so strong and so persistent that eventually I stopped offering beginnings at all, yielding the floor. During this stretch of silence, because I was bored and introspective, I learned to catch my thoughts as they fluttered behind my eyes like the little floaties you see when you stare at a blue sky. I\u2019d grab hold and clutch the thought in my brutal first, shaking it about. I wanted the truth. <\/span>Where did you come from?<\/span><\/i> I\u2019d scream at the thought. <\/span>You don\u2019t belong to me!<\/span><\/i> Those thoughts telling me I\u2019m worthless, nothing I say matters, no one wants my input. Keep peace, my thoughts insisted. Don\u2019t start something.<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/broadstreet-zone><\/strong><\/div>\n

But when I tracked that little amoeba-thought to its singularity, I realized I\u2019m not the one who started something. I didn\u2019t fashion this world we all live in. If I had, I\u2019d\u2019ve made sure there was equal distribution of all things, wealth and resources, all with respect to the earth and her clearly defined limitations. I wouldn\u2019t have created this hierarchical, oppressive, exploitative system. The thoughts I think are all filtered through this system. They are not pure. I work at uncovering the thoughts laden with other people\u2019s fears and stories; I winnow out the thoughts that I only keep because they don\u2019t challenge my worldview. I strive for consciousness. Curiosity.<\/span><\/p>\n

My thoughts are sometimes so ridiculous that I have to laugh at them. If I let them flow freely without calling them in for examination, I\u2019ll realize I\u2019m thinking someone else\u2019s thoughts altogether. I recognize my mom\u2019s thoughts, my co-workers\u2019 thoughts, my ex\u2019s thoughts. I even recognize thoughts that \u2018old me\u2019 embraced, creeping back from time to time when my guard is down or when I\u2019ve been dealt a blow. Patriarchy\u2019s thoughts: you\u2019re not good enough, look at the weight you\u2019ve put on, you\u2019re screeching again. Capitalism’s thoughts: did you check the price for that on Amazon? This year\u2019s model has some pretty neat upgrades, time to trade in. Colonialism\u2019s thoughts: I wish I had a plot of land for myself, mine, mine, mine.<\/span><\/p>\n

And that\u2019s just the people, just the systems. What about the emotions? Fear? Anxiety? Anger? Jealousy? They all have their cavalry of thoughts that accompany them, actually wielding the power to alter my body\u2019s functions, triggering the sympathetic nervous system’s responses. If we don\u2019t shine the light on these thoughts, examine them, and release them, they have the capacity to completely overtake us. We can begin to run on fear-thoughts, on obsessive-thoughts. We begin to function more animalistically, behaving as though our very survival is at stake if we react with good faith and kindness instead of suspicion, if we behave as though everyone has good intentions rather than mal-intent. What if we presumed the best? Could we maybe create it? Become it?<\/span><\/p>\n

I read somewhere that if the world doesn’t make sense, if we don’t seem to fit into it, it’s because we’re here to build a new one. I had to learn that meant starting with my own mentality.<\/span><\/p>\n

Thoughts can change the world.<\/span><\/p>\n

What do you think?<\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t miss out on Doppler! Sign up for our free newsletter <\/strong>here<\/strong>.<\/strong><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/broadstreet-zone><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"

Photo by Kai Rannik<\/p><\/div>\n

Kathleen May is a writer, speaker, and activist. Her work in our community includes co-founding the long-running Huntsville Women\u2019s Group, being a Survivor Mentor in the pilot survivor-to-survivor program through MPSSAS, co-facilitating instinct-unlocking workshops for women through I Got This, working as a host and community producer of Herstories<\/i> on YourTV, volunteering with Women\u2019s March Muskoka, and her role as a front-line counsellor at a women\u2019s shelter. Kathleen is a 2018 Woman of Distinction for Social Activism and Community Development and also received the Best Author award for her 2018 submission at the Muskoka Novel Marathon, a fundraiser for literacy services. Her dream is a sustainable women\u2019s land co-operative in Muskoka.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You are in charge of your life. You only get the one, and it\u2019s wild and devastating in its brevity, and in its expansiveness. You were gifted with consciousness, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":617,"featured_media":44938,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[26,831],"class_list":["post-60047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commentary","tag-breaking","tag-kathleen-may"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nShe Speaks: Don't believe everything you think<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Not everything you think is true. 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